


Riding The Horizon

by burymeinziam



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Science Fiction, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-06
Updated: 2013-01-06
Packaged: 2017-11-23 23:08:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,987
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/627521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/burymeinziam/pseuds/burymeinziam
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Zayn has a choice. He’s on the edge, riding the horizon, blurring the line between life and death and he has a choice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Riding The Horizon

i.

Zayn gazes out into the horizon, his eyes skimming over the pinks and reds and oranges of the sunset. His hands dig into the sand, picking up small handfuls and watching as the grains slip through his fingers. He doesn’t know when he got to this beach or why or how it happened. All he knows is the sound of the waves crashing against the shore and the faint hum of a voice, light and lulling, singing in the distance.

Gentle waves lap at his toes as Zayn continues to listen and he doesn’t really notice the small, fleeting smile that skips across his lips at the sound of the far away humming. He turns around, trying to locate the source, and is met with the sight of palm trees and cocoa plants. There’s a path carved out into the sand, weaving through the thick forestation which is made up primarily of moss and small ferns.

Zayn bites down on the inside of his cheek before raising his arm to rub at the back of his neck. He’s no longer thinking of the soft voice that had subconsciously made him smile. His mind is mostly occupied with feelings of fear and confusion as he slowly pushes himself to his feet and cautiously steps forward into the unknown.

ii.

When he spots the clearing Zayn mouth falls open.

He’s never seen anything more aesthetically beautiful. There are trees and vines curving into near perfect archways and there are butterflies fluttering and birds singing and flowers of all shapes and sizes and colors. It’s unlike anything he’s ever laid eyes on. For a moment Zayn wonders if he’s dreaming, if he’s going to wake up and somehow miss this new place he’s discovered, but then he feels a hand on his shoulder and the grip, soft but sure, feels all too real and he knows he isn’t sleeping.

“You must be Zayn.”

The woman is tall and thin with a wild mess of bright red curls. If her smile hadn’t been so warm Zayn would have been afraid, but her eyes are bright and blue and shining when she looks down at him and her voice is gentle and patient when she asks if her assumption was correct so mostly Zayn feels surprisingly safe.

“Yeah,” Zayn answers her. “I’m Zayn.”

His eyes continue to scan the garden. He spots some fruit growing in the trees and a small fountain tucked away behind a few bushes. Zayn feels the woman’s hand leave his shoulder and then her fingers are slotting themselves between his own as her smile widens.

“Good,” she says. “He’s been waiting for you.”

And then she’s leading him down the winding path that travels through the garden. Zayn’s eyes are all over the place as he tries to make sense of where he is. “What?” He’s asking, his voice slightly frantic. “Who is waiting for me? Where am I?”

The woman only looks back at him, the warm smile still present on her face. She only speaks two words.

“In time.”

iii.

The singing is clearer now. The pitch is perfect and the easiness to the voice makes Zayn want to close his eyes and focus on nothing but the sound of the voice and the feel of the wind against his skin. The woman is still pulling him along the path, eagerness to her step that Zayn can’t help but to find slightly endearing.

“Almost there,” she says as she turns back to look at Zayn. There’s a smug knowingness to her voice that Zayn picks up on and cause him to wonder exactly what is going on. While this place seems magical and enchanted and wonderful, he still doesn’t know what he’s doing here or how he’d arrived. He can’t remember much of anything from before he’d woken up on the beach and it’s all making him feel very on edge.

Soon, Zayn spots the structure of a ridiculously expensive looking home. It’s vast and white with tall columns decorating the front and high ceilings that seem to stretch out for days. “Oh…” is all Zayn can really manage to say when they stop in front of the home and the woman lets go of his hand.

“Magnificent, isn’t it?”

Zayn is given a few lingering seconds to gaze upon the mansion before he is moving again, climbing up marble steps and passing by stunning pieces of artwork. His fingers graze over rich cotton curtains, skim past smooth marble sculptures. It’s all so much and so unlike anything he’s ever seen before. He’s still slightly unsure of where he came from but he’s nearly positive it wasn’t anything as elaborate as this.

“Not used to such things?”

Zayn shakes his head as a blush covers his cheeks and the woman only smiles at him fondly before giving his hand a gentle squeeze. He looks up and knows she isn’t judging him so much as appreciating his astonishment.

“We’re almost there,” she says before they turn the corner and head down a wide set hallway. Zayn can still hear the singing and makes not of the way it’s beginning to grow in volume. The tone drops to something low and calm, and if Zayn isn’t mistaken, maybe even a little knowing.

And then they’re stopping, the woman holding an arm in front of Zayn to keep him from moving. She grins down at him once more before stepping forward through an archway. Zayn stands in place, staring dumbly as she crosses the room toward a man who appears to be around Zayn’s age. He’s lounging lazily on a long couch, his eyes closed, singing a song that feels vaguely familiar, but that Zayn is unable to place. 

“Liam,” the woman speaks softly, placing a tentative hand on his shoulder.

The man’s eyes flutter open and the singing comes to an unfortunate end as he smiles up at the woman. She only smiles back at him before his eyes leave hers and fall upon Zayn. His head tits to the side as his eyes widen slightly in what appears to be disbelief. Liam is looking at Zayn as if he’s been waiting forever for this very moment, as if his whole life has been a mere prelude to when he would get to see Zayn in the flesh.

“Thank you, Mona,” Liam says, his voice barely above a whisper.

The woman – Mona – replies with a small “you’re welcome” before crossing the room once more and heading back toward the garden. She places a reassuring hand on Zayn’s shoulder as she passes him by and then she is gone. Once neither of them can hear Mona’s footsteps against the floors Liam stands and rakes his eyes over Zayn’s body.

Zayn shifts his weight uncomfortably from one foot to the other before clearing his throat and daring to meet Liam’s gaze.

“I’m—” he lets out a breathy laugh because he really can’t believe any of this. He has no idea what’s going on and here he is about to introduce himself to a complete stranger who can’t seem to take his eyes off of him. “I’m Zayn.”

Liam’s smile falters at the introduction but doesn’t stray too far from his lips. He wants more than anything to reach out and touch Zayn. To brush his knuckles over his cheekbones, run his fingers through his hair. To feel the press of Zayn’s lips against his own and know that it means forever.

But that will all come in time.

For now, Liam merely nods his head in response. “I know.”

Zayn furrows his brow, confused. “How—do you know why I’m here?”

Liam laughs lightly to himself and resists the urge to reach out and touch because he knows that would only complicate things.

Instead of doing what he wants Liam speaks two words, the same words Mona had said to Zayn back in the garden.

“In time.”

iv.

“Do you know where you are?” Liam asks later that evening at dinner. He and Zayn are seated outside under a gazebo. The stars are brighter and clearer than anything Liam can ever remember seeing before he’d arrived here. It was the first thing he really noticed and all he could think about that first night he’d seen them is how much he wished he could show Zayn. And now Zayn is here, with him, under the very same stars and Liam honestly couldn’t be happier.

Zayn shakes his head, using his fork to push a piece of broccoli around his plate. “No.”

And then he’s looking up at Liam, his expression slightly angry but mostly just curious. “Are you going to tell me?”

Liam sighs. He wants to. He wants to tell Zayn everything, explain why he’s here and what it means, but he knows he can’t. It’s something Zayn has to figure out for himself. All Liam can do is wait patiently for that moment to come.

So, Liam shakes his head and spears a piece of chicken with his fork. “I’m sorry,” he says. “I can’t.”

v.

Liam remembers a crash and waking up on the beach.

He remembers not knowing where he was or how he got there or when.

He remembers feeling as if a part of him had gone missing.

Liam remembers stumbling through the brush and finding a tall woman with bright red hair and he remembers the way everything had hit him like one of the waves that had crashed against the shore at the beach. He remembers the way Mona had held him as he cried for a man he felt would never come.

“Be patient, dear,” Mona had whispered as she rubbed soothing circles into Liam’s back as he sobbed. “All you have to do is be patient. One day…”

Liam remembers thinking of her words as nonsense. He wasn’t coming; not one day or any day.

And then there was the archway and a boy with a shock of blond running through inky black hair and Liam knew he was done waiting.

vi.

Zayn dreams of bright lights and cries for help.

He dreams of shattering glass and a hand gripping tightly onto his own and fearful brown eyes gazing into his own as if they loved him and this was going to be the last time.

And then then he’s lying on a beach with sand slipping through his fingers and waves lapping against his toes.

vii.

Zayn wakes up the next morning to the sound of humming and the feel of soft cotton wrapped around his waist. He groggily throws an arm over his eyes to shield them from the blinding light that’s shining in through the large glass windows of his room before rolling over in bed and burying his head into his pillow.

But then his eyes shoot open because his sheets smell like cinnamon, something he hasn’t smelled in what feels like months. For a reason he can’t seem to place he feels like he’s grown used to the smell of antiseptic and medicine. He buries his face further into the pillow because the smell is warm and inviting and comforting in a way that feels like home.

“I take it you slept well?” A voice sounds from the open doorway to Zayn’s bedroom.

Zayn slowly pushes himself into a sitting position, bringing the pillow with him and hugging it close to his chest. Liam is dressed in a pair of jeans and simple white t-shirt. Zayn feels uncomfortable with the way Liam looks at him. It’s almost as if he’s expecting something Zayn isn’t sure he’s going to be able to deliver.

“Yeah,” Zayn answers, looking down into his lap. It’s not a complete lie. Aside from the dreams about the bright lights and the scared boy with the brown eyes, Zayn had slept rather peacefully.

“Good,” Liam said with a short nod of his head. “I uh… Mona has some clothes for you if you want to shower and get dressed? And then there’s breakfast.”

When Zayn looks at Liam he appears both nervous and hopeful. He’s looking at Zayn and it’s almost as if Liam is begging him to say yes even though Zayn really doesn’t have much of a choice in the option. Sure, he could decline and decide that he wants to leave – he’s pretty sure there isn’t much Liam could do to stop him – but it isn’t like he has anywhere to go. Liam and Mona are the only people Zayn knows here and they seem to be the only people that can provide him with answers to the long list of questions he’s accumulated since he woke up on the beach.

“Alright,” Zayn replies. “Uh… thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Liam says with a smile and then he’s humming that same familiar tune as he turns and strides down the hall outside of Zayn’s bedroom.

And even though Liam isn’t there to see it, Zayn can’t help but to smile back.

viii.

Zayn remembers arms wrapped around his middle and a face buried in his neck.

He remembers swaying in their living room to a song about love and forever and the soothing sound of a voice humming along to the music in his ear.

Zayn recalls whispered ‘” love you”s and the sweet scent of cinnamon filling his nostrils as he drifted to sleep.

ix.

Zayn finds Liam curled up under a tree in the garden with a book situated in his lap. He looks peaceful and happy as his eyes travel over the pages and a quiet chuckle escapes his lips as he reads over a particularly funny moment in the book. Zayn almost feels bad for interrupting him, but he’d felt lonely wandering around the giant house and while Mona made for good company sometimes, Zayn always felt like he was bothering her whenever he followed her around. He was actually surprised Liam hadn’t greeted him this morning with news about breakfast and clean clothes as he’d done every morning before this one.

When Zayn gets closer to where Liam is sitting he hears the humming again and it’s the same song Liam hums every day; the same one that causes Zayn’s ears to itch because it’s so very familiar to him and he has still yet to place it.

Before Zayn has the chance to make his presence known Liam’s eyes lift from the book and he grins at the sight of Zayn standing before him.

“Hey,” he says. “Looking around?”

Zayn shoves his hands into his pockets and shrugs his shoulders. “I guess… I wasn’t sure of what to do,” he admits. “You usually stop by in the morning and, well, I was hanging around with Mona but I felt like I was bugging her so I came out here to look for you and well…”

Liam nods as Zayn trails off because he gets it. He remembers feeling just as lost as Zayn probably does. He wants to close the distance between them and wrap Zayn up in his arms and tell him that it’s okay. He knows Zayn is probably feeling scared and alone and Liam just wants to tell him that it’s okay. Everything is okay and he has nothing to worry about.

But Liam settles for patting the spot in the grass next to him and tells Zayn to have a seat.

Zayn smiles, shy but grateful, and takes the spot next to Liam. He looks down at the book in Liam’s book and tries to peek at the spine to see the title. When he’s unable to read it he flicks his eyes up to meet Liam’s. “What are you reading?”

Liam marks his page and closes the book before handing it over to Zayn. “It’s a book of old fairytales. There’s a library. I don’t know if you’ve stumbled upon it yet, but its way down at the end of the west wing of the house. It’s absolutely amazing… filled with books from the floor all the way to the ceiling. I don’t know where they all came from, but when I got here I nearly fainted when I saw it. It would take fifty lifetimes to read them all…”

Liam leans his head back against the tree. He can’t help but to smile at the thought of the library. It was one of the few things that kept his mind occupied while he waited for Zayn to show up.

He cracks an eye open at the sound of Zayn laughing. “My boyfriend loved books too. He—”

Zayn cuts himself off at the mention of a boyfriend. He doesn’t know where the memory came from, but then he remembers feather light touches against his hip as they passed each other by in the halls of their apartment, and afternoon coffee, and playful nagging about how many cigarettes he smoked in a day.

And then Zayn thinks about how he’d said the word “loved” and wonders where that came from too.

“That song you sing all the time…” Zayn starts.

Liam glances over at Zayn, his eyes appearing more hopeful than he’d like. “Yeah? What about it?”

Zayn rests his elbows against his knees and allows his head to fall into his open palms. He groans in frustration because nothing seems to make any sense. He knows he had a life before this, a family and friends; people who loved him. He knows he had all of that and yet he can’t seem to remember any of it. Everything here seems so familiar and yet he is unable to figure out why or how.

“I don’t even know anymore…” Zayn mumbles lifting his head from his hands. He looks so tired and defeated. “Forget I said anything.”

Liam nods. “You’ll figure it out… it just takes time,” he says. “Patience.”

Zayn is quiet for a few moments as he stares off into the garden. “How long have you been here?”

Liam shrugs. “A while, I guess. You tend to lose track of time.”

“Weren’t you lonely?”

Liam smiles as he turns to face Zayn. “Not anymore.”

x.

Zayn remembers a crash and shattering glass and cries for help.

He remembers a hand gripping tight onto his own and then he remembers his palms feeling empty.

He remembers Jaws of Life and gruff voices saying that they’ve got him; he’s going to be okay.

Mostly Zayn remembers a ride in the back of an ambulance and empty brown eyes looking into his as someone called for a time of death,

xi.

Liam is humming the next morning at breakfast and while the song usually made Zayn smile, today it only makes him long for a life he never even realized he had and a boy he never knew he loved.

xii.

Zayn is sitting by the beach staring off into the horizon and wondering how long it would take for him to swim to the very edge and, if he even made it, if he’d be able to get back to wherever it was he’d come from. He wants to go home, wherever that may be.

“What are you doing out here?”

Zayn turns to see Liam approaching him. He takes a seat next to Zayn and picks up a handful of sand, allowing the millions upon millions of grains to slip through his fingers.

It’s a lot like life

“I’m stuck here, aren’t I?” Zayn asks, ignoring Liam’s previous question. He doesn’t even bother with eye contact; just continues to stare out into emptiness.

“What do you mean?”

Zayn sighs. “There’s no going back. I’m here forever.”

Liam is a little hopeful that Zayn is beginning to figure everything out, fit the pieces to the puzzle, but he’s also beginning to feel a little afraid. He’s scared because, for the first time, he’s starting to doubt whether or not Zayn would even want to stay with him.

“Not necessarily,” Liam says. “Not yet at least.”

Zayn’s eyes dart to the side to meet Liam’s. He twists his body to meet the other boy’s as his eyes grow wide with wonder and excitement and hope. “What do you mean ‘not yet’?”

Liam starts to answer but closes his mouth because he doesn’t want to give Zayn the option. He’s waited for what feels like forever and telling Zayn the truth could mean it was all for nothing. “Do you remember?” He asks, looking down at the way his toes dig into the sound.

Zayn shrugs. “I remember bits and pieces. I remember a boy with brown eyes and a crash… an ambulance. Someone died, but it wasn’t me…”

And then Zayn is looking up and his eyes meet Liam’s and they’re the same brown eyes from the ambulance and the car just before the crash. The wind blows and Zayn smells cinnamon and it reminds him of home.

“It was you,” Zayn whispers and his voice is so small Liam wouldn’t have realized he’d spoken if he hadn’t seen his lips move.

Liam nods and his eyes are wet because he’s waited so long for Zayn to know him and to remember. “Yes,” he says and he keeps nodding even as the tears are slipping down his cheeks because he wants Zayn to know this is true and this is real and they are here together.

xiii.

“It’s been two and a half weeks,” his mother says. Her voice is tired and thick due to an extreme lack of sleep. She’s sitting in an uncomfortable plastic chair next to her son’s bed. He’s hooked up to what seems like a million different machines, with IVs attached to both of his arms and a mask covering his mouth and nose to help him breathe.

“He’ll wake up,” his sister replies, placing a hand on her mother’s shoulder as she offers her sleeping brother a tearful glance.

“The doctors say he isn’t going to,” his mother continues. She hates to think such things, let alone consider speaking the thoughts aloud, but she also hates to see her son like this: hooked up to IVs, pale, and lifeless. She hates sitting in the hospital praying for a miracle that will probably never come.

“Mom…”

“Maybe we should let him go.”

xiv.

“You died,” Zayn says. He states it plain as day, as if he’d known this from the start and, in a sense, he kind of did but his eyes are sad and the tears are fresh as he looks at Liam and it’s all too clear that the sadness Zayn feels about it all is new. “I watched you die.”

Liam nods. “Yeah.”

“And I died too?” Zayn asks, looking out toward the horizon. He knows that if the answer is yes there is no going back to the life he had before. He’d be stuck here forever with no chance at saying goodbye.

But Liam shakes his head and tells Zayn “No. You’re not dead; not yet.”

Zayn is in a coma and he has a choice. He’s on the edge, riding the horizon, blurring the line between life and death and he has a choice.

“You can stay here,” Liam says and he’s looking at Zayn with all the hope in the world. He’s hoping and praying to whatever God is up in the sky that Zayn will stay because Liam has been waiting for him forever. “You can stay here with me,” he repeats. “Or you can… you can go back.”

Zayn can feel Liam gripping his hand and it feels just as it had in the car just before they crashed: tight and sure and loving.

Zayn can see the life they had together. He sees the one bedroom apartment that was way too small, but somehow perfect for the pair of them. He sees their lazy Sundays on the couch and coming home from work to find Liam burning dinner in the kitchen.

Zayn remembers yelling until his throat was raw. There are memories of Liam shouting words he wouldn’t dare say in his right frame of mind before storming out of the apartment, the front door slamming and rattling the picture frames on the walls. There were nights spent on the couch and tip toeing around the other person because neither of them wanted to be the first to say “I’m sorry.”

Zayn remembers them making love on every surface of the apartment, mapping each other’s body in every nook and cranny of one thousand square feet. He can still feel Liam’s hands gripping his thighs and lips brushing the outer shell of his ears. He remembers the stretch and burn and the feeling of being completely full and covered by a boy who meant everything.

But Zayn also remembers a life outside of Liam.

Zayn has parents who love him and sisters who look up to him. He has a job and friends. There is so much outside of Liam and Zayn doesn’t know how he can throw all of that away for an eternity spent living in a garden with the boy of his dreams.

“Do I have time?” Zayn asks.

Liam lets go of Zayn’s hand and pushes himself to a standing position. He brushes the sand from his pants and nods. “Some.”

And then he’s gone, disappearing down the winding path into the foliage.

xv.

Zayn doesn’t speak to Liam for a few days but he talks to Mona.

“How long have you been here?” He asks her.

Mona smiles and runs a hand through her unruly red curls. “For as long as I can remember,” she answers with a laugh.

“Are you happy?”

Mona sits down in the garden next to Zayn and takes a moment to consider the question. Zayn’s knees are pulled tight against his chest as he waits for an answer. He doesn’t know what he’s expecting to hear or what he even wants to hear from Mona. He doesn’t know if his answer will sway him to go one way or the other. Zayn doesn’t even know why he’s asking; only that he’s curious.

After a few more seconds of silence Mona nods. “Yes,” she says. “I suppose I am.”

Zayn starts to respond, but Mona hushes him because she isn’t finished. “That isn’t to say that sometimes I wish I were somewhere else, Zayn. I had a life outside once too, just as you do now. I was engaged to a man who loved me like no other…” she pauses and her eyes gloss over at the memory. It takes her a moment, but she wipes the threatening tears and turns back to smile at Zayn. “But we all have our time. I died, just as Liam did and just as you will too… even if it isn’t now.”

“Will I come back?” Zayn asks. “If I leave now, will I come back when I die again later?”

Mona cards her fingers through Zayn’s hair before leaning forward to kiss his forehead. She stands up and straightens her dress. “I don’t know, Zayn… I suppose that’s the beauty in dying; you never know where you’ll end up next.”

xvi.

“Okay.”

Liam almost doesn’t hear him when he says it. He’d been wrapped up in his thoughts and if he hadn’t spotted Zayn from the corner of his eyes he probably wouldn’t have known he was there, let alone heard him speak.

“What?”

Zayn closes the distance between them, his fingers sinking into the sand with each step he takes. He looks down at the ground because he knows this decision is literally life changing. Zayn almost can’t believe he’s making it.

“I said okay.”

Liam’s eyes grow slightly wide as his lips curve up into a smile. He reaches forward and entwines his fingers with Zayn’s and when the other boy doesn’t pull away he knows things are okay. That he’s staying and that he’s here forever.

“You’ll stay,” he says and Zayn nods. “Can I ask why?”

Zayn sighs. “When I think about my life before all I see is you,” he says. “I see a life we had together. I know there were other people: my parents, my sisters and my friends but… all I saw was you. I couldn’t imagine a life without you in it.” Zayn draws in a deep breath. When he looks up his eyes are met with brown eyes that are filled with a love that Zayn is only just beginning to be able to comprehend.

“I don’t know you, Liam,” Zayn continues. “But I love you and somehow I just know if I were to go back to my old life without you I wouldn’t be happy.”

Liam steps closer and wraps his arms around Zayn, pulling him close and burying his face into his neck. As if on instinct Zayn returns the gesture and breathes in the comforting scent of cinnamon and knows that he is home, that although he is leaving a life he once knew and clung to, he’s trading it in for something new completely his.

Zayn closes his eyes and allows himself to fall into Liam. There are so many things he wants to say and so many questions he wants to ask, but right now he doesn’t feel like talking. For now he’s content to succumb to the familiar scent of cinnamon and the soft humming of a song he’s known since the beginning of time.

xvii.

It’s 11:26 AM. when the doctor pulls the plug.

The steady rise and fall of a young boy’s chest stops in harmony with the sound of a flat line.

A mother and a father hold their three daughters as they cry.

On the other side, a young man and his lover kiss away a thousand words that have been left unspoken.

But it doesn't matter because they have all the time in the world.


End file.
